chrysmargaux

So I have this theory and firmly believe that those who have been cheated ON tend to have this deeper understanding for others who are in the same boat. They have an ability to actually feel and truly grasp the immensity of pain another person is enduring, as if they are living vicariously through that individual. J.cole said it best when he stated “Cheating on someone is deeper than people realize, it destroys their outlook on love, future relationships & peace within their self.” So I think its really unfair for an ignorant person to say “she just needs to get over it and let go”.. ESPECIALLY if that person had never been cheated on before. Its really easy for you to say it because you’ve never felt that sense of betrayal. “Getting over it and letting go” takes time and committment from both parties to be patient with each other. At times, I admit its hard to stop myself from ruminating about the past, but everybody copes with things differently.

I stumbled upon a mutual acquaintence’s Tumblr whos current situation with her boyfriend is similar to mines. There were SO many posts from her that, in my head, I was just screaming out “I get you! I totally feel the same way!” Its crazy that no matter how different the technicalities were in each of our circumstances, after finding out about the infidelities in our relationships, the insecurities we both faced were so similar. The thoughts she was having were the same thoughts consistently running around in my mind. The mental fights she was having within herself, were battles I’ve been enduring all this time. The hopeful UPs that are scattered here and there… are matched with DOWNs that leave scars on wounds that are STILL healing.

reevaluate, revitalize, rejuvenate

reflecting has led me to want to make some small changes in my life. not sure if the direction ive been heading is the healthiest way to go so i decided its up to me to make moves and change for the better.

MIND
- try not to dwell on the past. what happened, happened. there is no benefit in trying to control what is out of my control. even if this is harder said than done, trying to protect myself by gripping tighter to aspects of my life will burn me more than just letting go. old habits die hard but change is healthy.
- study or learn something new everyday. whether that be reading a few pages in a new book, calling an old friend and catching up, or getting ahead in my studies.

BODY
- slowly ease into a paleo diet so i can cleanse my body.
- drink moderately when im in an opportunity to drink
- exercise a little everyday
- practice moderation. respect my body.

SOUL
- give time and volunteer to those in need
- make more of an effort to go to church
- pray the rosary
- “fast from holding resentments and start practicing forgiveness”
- “fast from being angry or upset with people who have hurt or offended you, and pray for the courage to forgive them”
- use less foul language and practice seeing the good in others
- develop a better relationship with God, my family, my friends, my significant other, and myself.

time to reflect.

What sucks about being single? Not having that go-to person thats always down to go with you whenever you discover a new food place…

its pretty sick when the person who supposedly loves you gets pure enjoyment from making you livid.